This week I have two related posts for you. Both are revolving around the same subject and that is what NOT to do while trying to make it as a blogger.
I was reading a post on a blog and wanted to vote for it on Blog Engage. I click the voting button and, as you know, get BE to open in another tab. So I voted for the post and all in all, it took about 10 seconds to do it.
And there I see a chat message from a person I have no idea who it is.
If you did not know, Brian added the chat feature to Blog Engage recently.
Anyway, here is the message:
What is wrong with this?
- I have never ever had any contact with the blogger, nor have I ever seen the person.
- I was online on BlogEngage for several seconds, looks like the person is just waiting for anyone to log in to shoot the message.
- No introduction. I still don’t know who this is.
- What if I was someone who just registered on BE? I would have even less clue as what they want from me.
- “Please vote for me article…”.
- How do I vote for the article?
- Why should I vote for your article?
- Is there a contest going on?
- My “cooperation is kindly appreciated”? But you didn’t even wait for me to tell you if I will do it or not!
Now what?
I am the type of person that always loves to help. I know how much my blogging friends helped me win the traffic generation contest this spring.
But here is the big difference. Those were my blogging friends. I have connected with them before the contest.
You can not expect for people to do you favors when they have no clue who you are. You need to, at least, introduce yourself and explain what you need.
How should that message look, for me to actually do something (example):
“Hey, my name is John. I entered the contest here and would appreciate if you would help me win it. All I need from you is a comment and maybe a share on Twitter… Would you be interested?”
Then, if a person says yes, send the link.
Have we met before?
I receive DMs on Twitter all the time, from my friends that enter different contests. And I ALWAYS read their posts and vote as much as I can, I share it and try to help.
And I will always do that in the future.
But ambushing someone on chat is not the way to do it.
How to network and win a blogging contest?
All of us enter blogging contest for exposure and money. To win it, basically you need to have a great post and a loooooot of friends to vote for you.
If you have no friends to help, you better have a bloody awesome post.
Network before you enter a contest, so you will have some friends to give you the first push.
Write a great post so when you ask people to vote for you, they have something good to read and learn.
Read blogs and books about blog post promotion and learn all you can about the topic.
Don’t be too pushy.
When to think twice about entering?
If you are a complete blogging beginner, maybe you should wait a bit before entering a blogging contest. You want to have a good established blog for people to land on when your entry is published.
You should write a great piece of advice people can learn from. The main goal when writing for contest is not “how to win it” but “how to deliver the most value”. That is a full proof way of winning a blogging contest!
Post bullseye
I absolutely don’t want to sound harsh. I am also kinda sick and tired of people calling some of my posts “rants”. Nope, this is all me. This is how I talk and sorry if I am bursting your bubble.
But I feel the need to help and sometimes the only way to help is to tell you the hard, cold facts.
There are some things that won’t work well with most of us and this was one of them. No ambushing, just plain old networking we all love and enjoy 
OK, let me hear you… You hate me for being so mean or getting my point?
Hi could you please vote for me article!?
Nah, just kidding….sounds like the guy had a bot or some script going. Might be something Brian should look into just in case there’s an exploit for the chat system.
I notice this seems to happen in the Twitterverse, too. I get random DM’s and mentions from people who I’ve never met all asking me for a favor.
I guess this must actually work? Like the nigerian scammers -it seems like no one would ever actually do these things but every year people are taken in by it. I just hope people would not reward behavior like this.
Quite an interesting experience Brankica and I too was approached by someone on BE when I logged in to vote. This time though it was Brain and we did have a great conversation. What I am trying to say here is tat you are right.. that chat<feature is for people to interact, make some “small” talk perhaps and then, eventually ask something. Despite all this, I still think it is not a good move.. Poor guy, he did not know what was coming, lol.
oopss, sorry.. I meant Brian.. Wow, my brain is not functioning well today, again
@DiTesco Lol, yup, didn’t know.
But it surprises me all over again, every single day, that people make mistakes like these. I understand that someone is just starting, but you can read posts on the topic “how to be a good blogger and what to do and not to do” on every single blog out there!
@JohnGarrett Yeah, twitter is no better.
I mean, even asking someone you know is never a guarantee that a person will help. I actually had this happen with a blogger when I was trying to win that contest. I know he knows me cause he was always thanking me for retweets and even included me in a list of his on the blog, but when I asked him to help me, he was very rude about it.
Like I said, I always love helping my friends and most know that, but this is a big no-no if you want to network
Hi Brankica, I’ve had a few members bring this up to me and I’m hoping I can sort it out so it still benefits the majority of our members. Simply private messaging people because they log on is not acceptable and any members reported doing this will be removed from our chat system and maybe even from the community.
I love the chat system as it allows me to engage with our member on a different level then most social networks so I’m actually sad and offended this is starting to take place. I know our members have a lot of respect for one another as I created Blog Engage to be like this so I’m going to make a public announcement on the blog today expressing the new chat rules and how to engage the member properly.
I hope you don’t mind but I would like to reference your article and an example of why it’s wrong. Thanks for bringing this to my attention and I appreciate how you can take it so lightly. I know some people aren’t so easy going and as social as you.
Bran,
I am just as sick as you. And, thanks for writing this post, you saved some time and energy for me coz I wanted to write this next week. I am most easily annoyed when people ambush me. I (just like any human being) always prefer to get introduced first to make conversations; and to ask for help or support, sure I should at least know the person.
bbrian017 it is not just about BE chat. It is everywhere. Facebook, Gmail, literally everywhere. I mostly login invisible these days to avoid such attacks. I also wrote a post about why I would unfriend someone of Facebook and one of the main reasons is this – slapping me over and over on chats; even if my status shows to be busy. (Hope @Brankica won’t mind a link here http://www.findallanswers.com/7-reasons-unfriend-facebook/)
The point is, people abuse anything online and chat systems are just the next revolution. I hate to login to my gmail or facebook like a theif (invisible) and send chat messages to friends (to whom I really want to talk, personal or business) and surprise them
But I just do it anyway. *SAD*
Jane.
@DiTesco I don’t mind if you call me Brain haha!
@bbrian017 glad that it’s OK with you mate… I really meant, Brian, the brain behind BE.. you know the man, LMAO
@Brankica @JohnGarrett Yes, I get those DMs in Twitter, too. I have never talked to those people before they sent me a message asking me to help them out. You wouldn’t walk up to a random person on the street and ask them, “Will you please tell everyone you know that I make the best chocolate chip cookies?” It’s the same thing online. You need to get to know the person, find out that they make cookies for a living and then try those cookies yourself. If they’re that good, you’re going to tell all your friends without that person even asking you to do that. Hmmm…I made myself hungry for cookies:)
We’ll never be able to escape these kinds of people I’m afraid. They are everywhere you turn. I don’t know, maybe they don’t know any better or maybe they are just idiots. It gets under my skin as well but I do my best at times to try to help them learn and then I move on. Thanks for sharing Brankica, you always share with us what we are also thinking.
Hey Brankica,
This has happened to me literally hundreds of times. Particularly in those business social networks. I join, and I still don’t even know where I am in the site only to find out that I already have 10 messages on my inbox saying how great I am and so wonderful to connect and that I should join them on their “bizopp” because it’s just seven bucks to join after all and what can I lose.
That. Sickens. The. Hell. Out. Of. Me.
I may have joined like 7 or 10 of these social “business” networks, I’m still active in one and I’m going to be active in 2 more but I have found actual valuable people in there.
The rest of the networks are pure solid crap and everyone has the “hey, wanna buy a watch?” attitude.
If I had them right in front of me, I’d really punch them in the face.
So I hope this shows that I get your point 100%
I.LUV.U. and I soooo get your point Brankica! I’ve never entered a contest, have no clue about them, but I totally get what you’re saying. I guess I’m so under the radar that I haven’t had to deal with this. Love the “plain old networking”. Cheers! Kaarina
Hi Bran
I appreciate that you call it as it is. You are not nasty with it. Just let us know what is and is not acceptable in the blogopshere. To me, most of it is common sense and good manners. However, both seem to be in short supply in some sections of the blogosphere!
When I get asked to vote in competitions, I am happy to read the post and vote accordingly if they are someone I already know and have connected with. I ignore the strangers requests. And I must say you showed incredible restraint with the person who was so rude and presumptious!!!
Patricia Perth Australia
.
I forgot to add…you are well qualified to comment on this bad behaviour. Having won a competition that was entered by many experienced bloggers and being so successful with the content you provided, people should heed your advice in this post.
You conducted yourself with honour and integrity and for those of us supporting your entry, it was great to see the final result. Knowing that the judges were unanimous in awarding you first prize must have been encouraging too
There will always be those who try to scam results. The competition you won was conducted fairly. I do agree with your comment about blogging for awhile before entering a competition. And be connected and active in networking too. Great advice Bran.
Patricia Perth Australia
Bran, I tell ya, a lot of these contests drive me bonkers with all the jockying that goes on with getting more of this and that. Kinda annoying.
Thanks for always saying it like it is
Marcus
I have a simple rule for my online interactions- don’t do anything I wouldn’t do in person. If I follow that properly I never find myself in situations that are truly awkward or uncomfortable.
In the “real world” I don’t expect people to vote for me strictly because I say I am nice or whatever. So why would I online.
Hi Brankica, I have a totally different point of view about Blog Engage and the chat area. Let me give you a little background first.
I’ve been a Blog Engage member for 2 years now and I absolutely love the community and everything that Brian does. Many of the influential bloggers I know – Hesham from Famous Bloggers, Justin from DragonBlogger, Extreme John, Kristi Hines from Kikolani, Gail from GrowMap, Kiesha from WeBlogBetter (and more) – I met them all at Blog Engage. If you look around at all of the blogging social networks now, they are all trying to imitate the success that Brian has, and none of them even come close!
So, I tell you this to say that I was a “nobody” using Blogger and WordPress.com and I became friends with all of these blogging greats on BE.
Back in the day, there was quite a bit of spam on the site and as a result Brian closed the membership and allowed it by invitation only. Therefore everyone who joins has already been pre-screened. So the way I see it, once you’re in – that’s it YOU’RE IN!
You don’t have to jump through hoops to get a favor out of me all you need to do is ask.
I was on the chat a couple of weeks ago and someone (who I didn’t know at the time) asked me for a vote. I had no problem with it and I even invited them to guest post on my blog.
Remember the most important word in the name of the community is “Engage”. So to me that means ANY member can ask me for a favor and if I have time I’ll do it. If I don’t have time, I turn off chat. Simple as that.
When I go to Blog Engage, of course I want to hook up with my friends, but I also go there to meet new people and they don’t have to be experienced bloggers either. Maybe they end up doing a guest post on my blog. Maybe I end up being their mentor or their best blogging friend. Maybe when I need a favor one day they do it before I even ask them!
The absolute worse thing that can happen is that I end up voting for a crappy blog post – but I can make up for it by leaving a “constructive” comment and hope they take it to heart.
Here’s something else you might want to try. Introduce yourself to a new blogger every time you visit Blog Engage. Not necessarily in the chat room but just go to the “upcoming” tab and find a new blog to visit. Might not be the best blog in the world, but then again maybe you’ll make a new blogging friend but most importantly, you’ll be Engaged.
I haven’t had any issues with being randomly approached in a chat or otherwise for voting. I find the chat feature rather annoying anyhow and prefer to keep myself logged out. Being interrupted while reading an article with a “what’s up” isn’t my cup of tea, but that isn’t the topic at hand.
I like what Ileane had to say on the matter actually, I have found a place to engage with other bloggers and it has proven to be a wonderful tool for me. I have met some wonderfully helpful and supportive people on BlogEngage and am very thankful to be a part.
The voting process is more of a popularity contest and doesn’t carry much weight as many are voting for friends and followers but not how they truly feel about the written piece. Of course that is just a casual observation and might not be something felt by everyone.
@Ileane I understand all that but this was still an ambush. No introduction, no explanation, nothing. Like I said, if you wanted a vote, at least you can introduce yourself and explain what you want.
I still think the message and they way it was sent was not appropriate. Also, this isn’t the only case and I did reply to several of these ambushers and never got a reply back. So obviously they were not into engaging at all.
That was no way for them to network. Also, unfortunately I don’t have much time to introduce myself to new people there and I rely more on twitter and other people’s blogs for that.
I am guessing you were approached by a blogger that had a good post over there, but this person from the screenshot in the post wrote such a bad post that I would have never consider reading her/his blog ever.
If she/he had a better approach, I would probably put aside the quality and try to help as I always do with my friends, but I have never used these tactics and never liked people using them. I like networking but the proper way. I also love helping, but again, if someone doesn’t reply to my message after sending something like this, those people are not real networkers or bloggers for that matter.
I guess different strategies work different for every one of us.
This was posted just six hours ago on my wall:
-”Hello Sergio
It is good to see you here! I wish you much success! Look at My biggest Money Maker!! Earn 2% per Day or 60% per Month! No sponsoring Requirements. Join now! ===> deleted link <=== Have fun!! -deleted name- ~ Gold ~ Member”-Case closed.
@SergioFelix RLMAO
@bodynsoil I agree with you on all this. Ileane made great points, but I just don’t use BE or other voting sites to connect much. I mostly vote for blog posts I run into, that have the BE button.
I had no clue about the chat until Brian sent me a message one day and scared me with the loud beep, lol. I work with 20 tabs open and it took me 5 minutes to realize WTH was beeping
You know, although I think my contest winning post was great and so many people shared it and voted for it, I still could not have done it without friends. No way. But like I said in the post, they were friends I had before the contest
Thanks so much for the comment!!!
@TheJackB Agreed. There is one comment here saying “would you approach an unknown person on the street and ask them for a favor?” Don’t think so
@Ileane But bottom line (forgot to add this), I do know you as THE friendliest blogger alive. I am not as friendly as you are
@Marcus_Sheridan that is exactly the reason why I said I will never enter another contest. I felt bad asking people to vote for me.
@Patricia Thanks so much for the nice words.
I do the same thing, I will vote for people I have met before. I also get a lot of DMs asking me to comment on a post even if it isn’t in the contest. And I always do and appreciate people taking the time to send me those posts. But the main thing is that we have met before.
Stranger’s requests never do get my time, I believe I can spend my time better than just going to vote for who ever is asking for it. I did read the post in question here, and I was sorry I lost few minutes of my time reading it, honestly.
@KDillabough I only entered one and it took so much time to work on it to be close to the win with all the networking and promoting. $1.000 prize was worth it, but if I calculated the time I invested, I was paid less than minimum wages, lol. Anyway, it will be a looooong time before I ever consider entering another contest.
@AdrienneSmith You know, I wonder if they ever read a single blog post in their life, because there is no blog in out niche that doesn’t have at least one post on networking and what not to do when trying to connect with other bloggers.
I hope they learn, and I do try to help most of the time, but sometimes, you end up prioritizing your time…
@janesheeba I just hadn’t figured out how to log out, will have to do that, but I spoke to Brian and he made a good point, where he wants to be able to chat with anyone if he feels like it, without limiting the chat option, which makes good sense.
@bbrian017 I like that you have a chat system and knowing you, I know you will make the best out of this
Like me and most people said, it isn’t Blog Engage, it is everywhere.
@Brankica First of all, I should congratulate you: great accomplishment! As I said, I’m pretty unaware/oblivious about contests, and what with all the learning I’m doing, that’s an area that I’m happy to leave untouched for now. But I loved your post, and wanted to chime in to provide kudos on that. And of course, belated congrats on winning:) (Ooooh, did I just give an inadvertent reference to a particular person in the not-news?) Cheers! Kaarina
@Brankica @SergioFelix RRLMAO!!
I have received a lot of similar requests as well. And I find them to be interesting. Because they are doing things that I was thinking about doing when I first started out. So, I don’t blame them, although someone should explain that this is not how they should behave
Stop asking and start helping – I just finished reading The Thank You Economy, I’ll be helping even more from now on:-).
So, I take it you didn’t vote for me then? I was just trying to win a new car………..
Of course, ‘If you have no friends to help, you better have a bloody awesome post’ is telling me I’m in a heap of trouble.
It still boils down to relationships and credibility; if you just come busting in the door with your hand out and I don’t know who you are I am probably not to apt to help. I will always help my friends in any way I can, but I would prefer you to really be my friend first.
I’ve only been asked a couple of times for something like this and gladly participated. I can also assure you there is probably a pretty good chance I won’t be entering any blogging contests, so you don’t have to worry about me making that ask.
Thanks for sharing and hopefully these words of wisdom will keep someone from making a serious social media faux pas.
Good to see you today.
@SergioFelix I guess you are telling me you didn’t join my fabulous make more money than you can spend site then, did you?
@bdorman264 Gee I don’t think so Bill, but maybe next time lol
@bdorman264 Bill, I think if you ever do enter a contest, you are gonna win it like no one every would. You have so many friends ready to help that there is no worry in the world for you
By the way, believe it or not, just got the card, I forgot to check my PO box for awhile. Loved it, thank you so much
@Jens P. Berget Yeah, I am with you, but you were thinking about doing it and didn’t do it. That is a big difference
Hi Bran!
Great to know you’re posting as yourself! That’s definitely very crucial if you want to establish your presence online. You got just to be consistent with the person you are and others will be attracted to you!
I must say that there are done of “stalkers” online in all these social media websites nowadays! A guy came up to me on Facebook recently and asked me to check out his business opportunity. I asked him how he was doing and he said it’s not the opportunity, but the people and network that you had. Guess what? That guy never had made the effort to establish a relationship with me prior to that point in time. Definitely not being true to himself!
Straight to the point and I like it! You definitely have to network and make friends before you want to get help from others. I believe there is this “Law of reciprocity” that exists in the online world. If you want help, you got to help first. Thanks for sharing this post Bran! I enjoyed it!
Regards,
Darren Spruyt
Hi, Brankica.
I understand what you mean about being ambushed by that chat message. I would have wrinkled my nose and eyebrows had I received that one, too, even if I consider myself quite friendly. A short introduction in this kind of scenario would have helped and would be greatly appreciated, right?
I don’t see myself joining in any contests soon, but if you do join one again, please feel free to ask for my help.
I’d be more than happy to vote for you, no need for introductions. 
@KimDavies lol, thanks in advance
I am still tired from the last one, though, that is some hard work, promoting a contest entry.
I am pretty friendly most of the time
but the approach was the thing that kinda tickled my nerves. You are right, a little introduction would have made big difference.
@Brankica Glad to help out anytime, Brankica.
Ok, now I am scared! I have begged so many people to vote and comment on my post! What if they felt this way!
I made sure I made people I know vote for it and they helped me loads in passing the word across! Bonus points and special acknowledgement to you for teaching me that neat trick!
But yes, the hard work that goes in a contest entry is undeniable! I have had my share of “struggle” for it! Let’s see!
Haha, funny!
I think it is crucial to build up a relationship before asking for a favour. Getting such a weird message is just like getting some spam in mail box (“secret push button that earn me a gazillion dollars…”)
Same as some of the thread in forum, you will random people dropping a line totally out of topic and leave a backlink in the signature
Back to the point, if we want other people to do us a favor, we should consider what’s in it for them and why should they help us. So, by building a relationship and provide values first will be a good try initially
Hello, Brankica
I’ll be very short: I simply love it!!!
This is why people come back to your blog again and again.